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- Just tell Nemo you couldn't find him because you were busy
getting stoned... He'll understand.|R|E|S|P|O|S|I|B|I|L|I|T|Y. Your anti-drug.
- I'm not weird. I'm gifted.
- Not only is life a bitch, but it's always
having babies.
- Ever notice how all womens problems begin with MEN? MENtal Illness...MENstrual
cramps...MENtal breakdown...MENopause...GUYnocologist.
- Old aunts used to come up to me at weddings, poke me in the
gut, and say you're next. They stopped doing this after I did it to them at funerals.
- Jack and Jill went up the hill to smoke some marijuana.
Jack got high and unzipped his fly and said Jill do you wanna? Jill said yes, took off her dress and they did the hankey-pankey.
Jill forgot the pill and out popped little Frankie.
- If 4 our of 5 people suffer from diarrhea, does that mean
the 5th one enjoys it?
- Sex, drugs, speed, weed, birth control, life's a bitch and
so am I, so fuck the world and go get high.
- Naughty doesn't even begin to describe me.
- Do they ever shut up on your planet?
- Rehab is for quitters.
- Death is instant, pain will end, glory is forever.
- Mary had a little lamb and tied it to a heater, everytime
it turned around it burnt it's little peter peter pumpkin eater had a wife but couldn't keep her put her in a pumpkin shell
and burned her all to hello operator give me number 9 if you disconnect me I'll kick you from behind the refridgerator there
was a piece of glass I slipped and broke my big fat ask me no more questions, tell me no more lies, but if you get hit with
a bucket of shit be sure to close your eyes.
- How would you like to be an egg? You only get laid
once. It takes four minutes to get soft and only two minutes to get hard. You share your box with 11 other
guys. But worst of all, the only chick that ever sat on your face was your mom.
- S.T.U.P.I.D=Smart Talented Unique Person in Demand.
- I love you, you love me barney gave me HIV doctor doctor
I feel sick, all because of barney's dick.
- I miss my marbles.
- School is like being pecked to death by a chicken.
- You're ugly and your mommy dresses you funny.
- How about if I spank you?
- Gonna cry? Huh? Gonna cry?
- Good monkey likes you. Bad monkey likes your mom.
- Roses are red, violets are blue, you're ugly and smell like
poo.
- I'm out of bed, what more do you want?
- SEX is not the answer. SEX is the question and
YES is the answer.
- Roses are red, violets are blue, I like spagetti, let's
go fuck.
- Suicide Hotline...Please hold.
- If stupidity was a crime, I'd be sentenced for
life.
- Hocked on Fonics wurked for me...Kan't you tell?
- God made coke, god made pepsi, god made (name) so darn
sexy.
- Don't drink and drive, smoke and fly.
- I hate you you hate me let's get together and kill barney
with a one, two punch, barney's on the floor. No more purple dinosaur.
- AWW. You think I'm a bitch? Join the club you slutty whore!
- Behing the smile is everything you'll never understand.
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- Kissing is a habit. Fucking is a game. Guys get all
the pleasure girls get all the pain. The guys says I love you. You think it's true. But when your
tummy starts to swell, he says to hell with you. 10 minutes of pleasure, 9 months of pain, 3 days in the hospital,
a baby without a name. The baby is a bastard, the mother is a whore. This never would have happened if the rubber
hadn't tore.
- I find it kind of funny, I find it kinda sad, The dreams
in which I'm dying, are the best I've ever had.
- Sarcasim...Just one of the services I offer.
- I'm weird, therefore, I am special.
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