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- Life's a dick. When it gets hard, fuck it.
- Opinions are like assholes. Everyone has one and they all stink.
- There is no such thing as a stupid question. Just stupid people that ask
the questions.
- Yesterday is history, tomorrow is a mystery, Today is a gift, that's why they call it
the present.
- K SS MY SS. Would you like to buy a vowel?
- If you can't take the heat, don't tickle the dragon.
- On the other hand, you have different fingers.
- Before you criticize someone, walk a mile in their shoes. That way when you
do decide to criticize them, you're a mile away and you have their shoes.
- There are two words guys hate. Don't and Stop. Unless those two words are
used together.
- To meet a girl in park is good. But to park meat in girl in better.
- Life's a waste of time. Time is a waste of life. So let's get wasted and
have the time of our life's.
- If you're not interested in oral sex, keep your mouth shut.
- East to the sea, West to the land, death to the bitch that touches my man.
- I was standing in the park wondering why frisbees got bigger as they got closer.
Then it hit me...
- I'm trying to see things from your point of view, but I can't get my head that far
up my ass.
- Cheerleaders are dancers that have gone retarded.
- Last night I was looking at the stars. Then I wondered...Where the hell is my ceiling?!?!?!?
- Too often we lose sight of life's simple pleasures. Remember, when someone
annoys you, it takes 42 muscules to frown, but it only takes 4 muscules to extend your arm and bitch slap the mother
fucker upside the head.
- What happens when you get scared to death twice?
- Life's like a monkey, when you turn around, it throws shit at you.
- When in danget or doubt...run in circles and scream!
- To be sure of hitting the target, shoot first and call whatever you hit the target.
- Men are like floors. Lay them right the first time and you can walk all over them.
- Hey look! I can walk through walls!...OUCH!
- I'm not shy. I'm quietly confident.
- If something hurts, DON'T do it again.
- You're like a parking ticket. You got fine written all over you.
- If you can't laugh at yourself, I'll do it for you.
- If I checked out a book in the library everytime I checked out a guy, I'd be a walking
genius.
- A bitch is a dog, a dog barks, a tree is a part of nature, nature is beautiful,
so when you call me a bitch...thanks for the comment.
- I have CRS... Can't Remember Shit.
- Here's 35 cents... Call someone who gives a fuck.
- Don't worry...It'll only seem kinky the first time.
- I tried sniffing coke once... but the ice cubes got stuck in my nose.
- I never made the same mistake twice... It's more like 3 or 4 times.
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- Even if you knew you were going to break my heart, I still wouldn't
change the fact that I fell in love with you.
- Just the thought of being with you tomorrow, is enough for me to make
it through today.
- Sometimes the only thing you have to do for a friend is hold them
tight and let them cry for hours, knowing that they still have you and you will always be there for them when they need you,
even if they don't ask and you never say a word.
- Giving up doesn't always mean you're weak. Sometimes it means
that you are strong enough to let go.
- I have skittles in my mouth, want to taste the rainbow?
- When you say let's just be friends, my whole world fell apart.
- Have you ever felt like crying or just breaking down and dying?
Like you can't wake up from a dream in the night. Now knowing what to do. Not knowing where to go. Now that you
have made me cry...Why can't you just apologize. Baby why can't you see, that you and me, where meant to be.
- I'm not worried about impressing people. I want to be liked
or disliked for who I am at the very beginning. People will always see my true self eventually anyway.
- True friends are like diamonds, very precious and rare. False
friends are like autumn leaves, Scattered everywhere.
- The boy you can't have is the one you want most.
- Those three little words ring in my head, just waiting to be said.
- I'm a bitch, I like it that way.
- I was born a bitch, what's your excuse?
- Only good girls go to heaven. I wasn't invited.
- Heaven doesn't want me, Hell's afraid I'll take over.
- Your jealousy is my energy--Ever wonder why I'm so hyper?
- I'm a genie in a bottle. Your'e just a tramp on a lamp.
- An apple a day keeps the doctor away, but if the doctor's
cute, screw the fruit.
- If practice makes perfect, and nobodies perfect, why practice?
- Love thy neighbor, but don't get caught.
- So...the elephant says to the camel. Why do you have two boobs
on your back? The camel replies with, well that's a pretty stupid question coming from somebody who has a dick on their face.
- When I have a kid, I'm going to go to the mall, put him in a double
stroller, and run around the store looking frantic.
- "I love you" has eight letters. So does "bullshit"
- People will believe anything if you whisper it.
- I don't have an attitude problem. The world has a pissing me off
problem.
- They say loving you is my biggest mistake but how can it be so wrong
if it feels so right? If I ever made a mistake, it's not that I love you, it's thinking that someday you'll love me
too.
- Have you ever wondered which hurts the most: saying something
and wishing you had not, or saying nothing and wishing you had?
- Should I smile because we are friends? Or cry because we'll never be
anything more.
- If you love something, set it free. If it comes back, it's yours.
If it does not come back, it was never meant to be.
- I'm trying really hard not to cry over you because every tear is just
one more reminder that I don't know how to let you go.
- If you love someone put their name in a circle, not a heart, because
hearts can be broken but circles go on forever.
- When I saw you I liked you, when I liked you I loved you, when I loved
you, I lost you.
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